Arranged To Be Married? Read This Before Your Suhaag Raat

Expectations running at an all time high, an experience is finally about to unfold. You’re curious even furious, ‘How is this going to turn out?’.

You’re anxious, but you shouldn’t be. How else do you plan on enjoying one of the most beautiful experiences in the world? Yes, sex is beautiful. Sex is pure. It leads to the power of love. It is perhaps the most intimate escapade, so much so you might end up overwhelmed by your own emotional sensitivity. Are you ready? This may seem a bit of a no-brainer, but ask yourself again, are you really ready?

Don’t let ‘stranger in my bed’, the concentrated thought, to manifest in your head. It’s even okay to not have sex till you feel absolutely comfortable. The marriage is a new beginning. A feeling of intimate closeness may take time to develop. But remember, intimacy lies at the heart of a strong relationship. Work on it, together. Get to know each other if you haven’t had the time. ‘A lot can happen over coffee’, is not a myth. You talk, you lock eyes, there’s lots of time for all of that, sparks are sure to fly! Your priority? To be comfortable with each other. So you laugh easily and often, so you have comfortable silences, so you fall in love and deeper in love.

A great part of sex is played in the place between our ears, mumbling sweet nothings does a lot for tingles. A strong eye-gaze, science agrees, shows no signs of faltering. Locking eyes for long sets expressions of undying affection ablaze, it does a lot for forming a connection of love. However, if you do decide to do it know that the first time usually does not live up to the hype. It may a hurt a little. You may not know what exactly to do.

The sex you have will get better. Indulge in tons of foreplay, get to know your partner’s body. Figure out what they like, what they don’t. Great foreplay has the power to not only heighten arousal but amp up your sex life in the most beautiful ways, for it also helps with the release of oxytocin and other “love hormones”.

But you’ve never had sex, you say? Don’t force. Don’t coax. It is totally practical to be worn out after days of dozen rituals. While sly smiles are okay to pass, calm your electrifying nerves by initiating the conversation, ‘should we?’.

Respect begins when you accept their right to have a free thought. Embrace each other’s opinions. Sex is not a chore nor a checkbox. Nothing could have you prepared for the craziness that comes with having sex with someone you’re madly in love with. Trust is the most important bedroom ingredient. Your first time is not the foundation of your marriage.

So, cast your inhibitions aside, let your heart race! Let lose some risque jokes! Let your hugs last longer! Make the first night about caressing each other, just lay in each other’s arms. The more time you spend cuddling before things get hot and heavy, the more your relationship will benefit in the long run. Cuddling releases Oxycontin, and that increases feelings of intimacy with your partner.

Don’t just jump into the act for the sake of it, you any way might be too exhausted, you any way might not have the time. After all, the wedding just wrapped up at 5AM, right? Save your first time for a special day, when you’re not sleep-deprived, being tired isn’t just annoying, being tired is a cry for help. How about doing it on your honeymoon at a destination you both have always wanted to go?

Did you know certain rituals are meant to break the ice between the groom and the bride? Like the one where a tray of water is mixed with milk and vermilion and a ring are thrown in the mixture? Both the bride and groom get seven chances to find the ring. The one who finds the ring the maximum number of times is considered to be dominant among the two? Hands touched, glances were exchanged, chuckles were let out, probably a friendly banter too, suddenly you’re not apprehensive about the person in front of you anymore.

Sly smiles are everywhere around the corner, peeking through the walls even. But little do they know, it took 2 hours to undress, ah the lehanga and dupatta folds! Little do they know, you spent the entire night talking. Little do they know, your friends and your husband’s cousins popped up. Little do they know, you never did it.

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