Space is actually a must in every relationship – sexual or not. But I feel it is especially important to give (and get) some space when you’re physically crossing each other’s boundaries. After all, intimacy can cause mayhem in your body – in terms of thoughts and emotions. Intimacy can lead to expectations or even repulsion. Basically intimacy can lead to complications you won’t even see coming, unless, of course, there’s space.
But Why Do You Need Space If You’re In Love?
Mumford & Sons, in their song Awake My Soul, have said ‘In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die.
Where you invest your love, you invest your life’, and I am in absolute agreement. You see, loving is a lot tougher than hating. When you hate someone, you keep your distance. Even if you think about them, you don’t find it necessary to act upon it. But when you’re in love, it could either lead to sheer obsession – like the need to constantly have your partner’s attention, or be updated with their life; or colossal boredom, thus resulting in the loss of faith in the idea of partnership. But that’s not all. There is a middle path – the path of space.
How Much Space Is Too Much Space?
Now this is something very relative, because no one, aside of the people involved in the relationship – nobody can comment on how much space is too much or too less. So let’s just say, there could be space enough to maintain your individuality, and not metamorphose into what someone else expects you to become, particularly not someone you’re having sex with. Trust me, your independence and mental health, is above all.
What If They Find Someone Else?
Why would they? I mean they could if they want to, but if they are looking for someone else, they you don’t need them in your life to begin with – and the acceptance of this will come to you easily if you have made enough time to understand your own self, by taking enough space. Intimacy, accompanied by space, is the formula of a healthy relationship – and if done in correct proportions, by both parties, the only ‘someone’ one truly finds, is their own self.
Does Taking A ‘Break’ Qualify As ‘Space’?
Taking a ‘break’ is not the same as asking for ‘space’. You could have space even while you’re totally into each other. The idea of a ‘break’ normally comes out of situations going beyond one’s control. It’s like you love someone and you don’t wanna let them go completely, so you take a break from the toxicity of the situation. Space, on the other hand, prevents situations from getting toxic in the first place.