Just because they’re sleeping with you, it does not mean they love you. A lot of ifs and buts may follow that statement – because the human mind is complicated – however, if you’d rather choose clarity, then you must accept that sex and love are two very, very different things. They may converge, or they may not. Here are some ways to understand the difference, if you can’t just go up to your partner and ask them directly.
1. A Booty Call Is The Only Call You Ever Get From Them
You guys meet for dinner and drinks, followed by a kiss, which eventually leads to a crazy night in bed. This happens at least 2-3 times a week. Your friends refer to them as your significant other, and you like it. But they, on the days you don’t meet, give you no such indications. The butterflies in your tummy are self inflicted, and your heart tells you they might not ‘love’ you. Just believe your instincts, and choose what you want to do with this person.
2. The Only Love They Feel For You Is In Bed
You may be ‘officially’ dating them, you may even be married to them – but that does not guarantee love. Sex is a physical need, love is an emotion. Your hormones may tell you this is it, but listen to your brain. A person who loves you, will always respect you, find happiness in you and make you feel wanted, at all times. A person who only wants to have sex with you, will make you feel all of that only for a few moments, and in phases. The point is to know this and to deal with it.
3. It’s Okay To Choose One
Yes, it is. Not everyone is searching for true love; and not everyone is looking for sex. Love and sex are mutually exclusive, and the rules of both are extremely subjective. People often wonder how some couples choose to be in an open-relationship, or how some people forgive being cheated on. Well, you can wonder all you want – but you won’t find an answer. What you should focus on, instead, is to be clear about what makes you comfortable.
4. They Feel It, But You Don’t
You’re loving the physical company of someone, but you don’t want to call it love. Well, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with you. As long as you have made this clear to your partner, and they’re okay with it, you can continue having fun! Sex without love is fine – as long as both parties are in agreement.
5. ‘F*$k Buddies’ Don’t Guarantee Love
If Friends With Benefits is your benchmark, then it’s time to wake up. Not everyone is living in a movie, for all you know, your partner may not have even watched it! Love is not to be disguised, having feelings for someone does not make you ‘uncool’. Don’t mess your own head up by trying to fit into someone else’s ideal picture, if you don’t believe in the same. The idea, at the end of the day, is to be happy. So, don’t settle. Ever.