Teesta Rajan
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The feeling of pain during or after sex is not limited to the act itself, nor is it only limited to the body. Sex can hurt your heart, it can wound your soul. The act of passion that may have lasted a few minutes can cause you suffering for years together. The sex you didn’t want to have, the sex that felt wrong, the sex that betrayed you or even the sex that wasn’t yours.
You Thought Your Partner Was ‘The One’
You were made to feel special, multiple times – it was the real deal. It felt true, everything was right about it, the person was great, the sex was good, and you could even call it love. But it’s over now.
A person who touched your soul, is not with you anymore. Your thoughts about your moments of intimacy are vivid, and your heart sinks every time you think about your partner doing all that to someone else. Break-ups come with a lot of pain, but how much of that pain you feel is up to you. You see, while the act, may involve two people, the pleasure that follows is to each their own. So give yourself a nudge and remember that you did it for your self, and every time your brain wants to make you pity yourself over another individual, make sure to shut it down. Your body is your space, no one can ever own it.
You Wanted It Then, But You Don’t Want It Now
You don’t know what you were thinking, or you were a couple of drinks down – you wanted it then, but you wish you hadn’t, now. Wow, that rhymed.
The human mind is indecisive, and it loves to play games. It’s just like how we say stuff without thinking and then later regret all of it. How one deals with regret, however, is what makes all the difference. Try to begin by accepting what you’ve done, and that you wouldn’t have it any other way at that moment. After all, ‘why’ is a very difficult question to answer when it comes to one’s actions. So stop judging yourself, and nurture your confidence, instead. Just remember that you can let go off that guilt, only if you choose to do so.
Read: Blurred Lines: 5 Ways To Know You’re Ready To Have Sex
You Did It For Your Partner
This is perhaps one of the hardest feelings to deal with. You did it because your partner wanted it, and now you’re dealing with your pain, all by yourself.
The thing about sex is that the aftertaste of the act is very different for everyone. What may have been an expression of love for you, was probably just a few moments of lust for your partner. Or even if it was love for them at that point of time, it perhaps did not feel the same later on. So the least you can do at this point, is listen to what your pain is telling you. Next time, do it for yourself.
Read: Blurred Lines: 5 Ways To Know That The Sex You’re Having Is Not Love
You Wish You’d Said ‘No’ Then
It may have happened a long time ago, or it might be an episode from last night – it could have been a first date, or it could have been with a person you’ve known all your life.
Your self-worth cannot be measured by how important another person is making you feel. So if you don’t want to have sex at any point of time, you’re free to back off. Remember there’s absolutely nothing wrong in not wanting to be touched. Letting your partner know that you don’t want to do it is much better than hating the feeling of doing it, later.
Read: Blurred Lines: How Important Is It To Have Sex When You’re In A Relationship?
