Marriage is a completely surreal experience, from falling in love to getting hitched and living a life together and everything in between is magical. But this magical experience takes no time in turning into an emotional and mental disaster when the people in love are not on the same page about their own lives. In a recent survey, about two-third of the people that were interviewed have been worried about making the wrong decision and winding up getting a divorce. This scenario is not only very sad and depressing but also kind of shakes our belief in the purity and significance of marriage.
Therefore, here are 6 ways how you can make sure that you don’t marry the wrong person.
Don’t Just Dismiss his/her Past
Doesn’t your partner’s history bother you because it doesn’t really sound like the person you know and fell in love with? If yes, then do not sweep things under the rug anymore and be conscious about how you feel and why you feel that way. Also, there are certain things and past behaviours that do not meet your standards of the kind of partner you want, if so, give it some more thought. There is a high possibility that your partner’s past behaviour can easily become their future behaviour.
Family Dynamic Matters
While you might be able to ignore each other’s family for now, but after getting hitched you certainly can’t push them aside. Your in-laws are going to be a part of every step you take in your married life, starting from living together or coming over for holidays to being there at the hospital when your children are born. It’s okay if both you and your partner have a different understanding of life but them putting their family first no matter is what is going to bother you in the long run.
Acknowledge What You Need
It is awesome that you love whatever your partner does and you support them in every way possible. But do not compromise on your happiness and needs. For instance, if your husband has a great job and is earning a decent amount then it’s a win win for both of you. But the same job when it overburdens him or requires lots of travel becomes a bit of a problem. Be open about what you as an individual, keeping silent and not owning up to your needs might create misunderstandings and tension.
See Your Partner As They Are, Including their Imperfections
It is obvious to love your partner unconditionally, love their personality, the way they talk or how they live their life, etc. but there is a thin line between being delusional and actual reality. Imagine you hate a particular habit in a person and the world is against you on that. But later, your partner has the same habit and you seem to like it or accept it just because you love the person. Wouldn’t that just be delusional?
Do Not Ignore Your Gut Feeling
Instincts are to relationships what Aspirin is to headache. Intuitions are involuntary and cannot be controlled; it is something that can only be felt from within. The inner voice never lies, hence, it is always important to listen to that. It you are in a relationship with someone and something doesn’t feel right, pay attention to it. Analyse what has gone wrong, what could in the future and how you feel about it.
If You Don’t Feel the Spark, Forget it!
With all these talks of shared values and opening up, we cannot ignore the primal truth that there needs to be some kind of chemistry among partners. In today’s day and age it might be a trend to believe that stability is more important than attraction. But, at the end of the day, there has to be that ‘sizzle’. A couple who has been together for years should still have the urge to rip off each other’s clothes the second they are inside locked doors.