Blurred Lines: How Important Is It To Have Sex When You’re In A Relationship?

You may have heard it’s good for your skin, it’s a mood lifter – a therapy of sorts. ‘Have sex to resolve a fight’ you may have been advised. ‘It’s the best way to fix a breaking relationship’ is also a common belief. Sex regularizes periods, reduces stress, induces good sleep, burns calories, removes acne, makes you a champion at headstands – the list can go on – the question remains, however, does it make you feel good? 

You see, sex is not for anyone else’s pleasure, but yours alone. Now that we have that bit clear, I will move on to answering questions that may have arisen in your mind after reading the last line. A disclaimer being that we’re talking only and only about two adults indulging in consensual sex, throughout the article.

Isn’t It Selfish To Only Have Sex For Your Own Pleasure?

Of course it is. But it is also okay to be selfish, especially when it comes to your body. Sex, as an act, will not feel as magical as films and novels makes it appear, till the time you don’t enjoy it completely. And since this applies to both you and your partner, you can only imagine how amazing all of it will be.

What If My Partner Is In The Mood, But I’m Not?

It’s absolutely okay to not be up for having sex sometimes, as long as you’re not depriving your partner of physical pleasure all the time. Because in that case, you guys need to sit down and talk. Look, sex is not the solution, but it also should never be the problem. Sex is basic, and if the lack (or excess) of it is a matter of concern in your relationship, then it’s time for both parties to have a chat.

Is It Wrong To Have Sex To Please Your Partner?

If it feels right to you, then it’s not wrong. Matters of the body are highly subjective in nature, but you’ve got to make sure you’re listening to yours. Don’t do it to ‘save’ your relationship, for the institution cannot wholly depend upon one act of love making. It can perhaps fix things for those couple of minutes of action, but what about in the long run? And if spontaneity is what you’re looking for, then we’re back to point one, do it for your own pleasure, always and forever.

What Happens To The Love?

Never confuse sex for love. Love may lead to sex, but the latter does not guarantee love. Also, if you ask me, there’s nothing greater than self-love that can only be guaranteed when you’re satisfying your body on your own terms. Sex, therefore, is not a means to an end, it is rather an end in itself – it may be called love-making, but trust me, you’ll be better off thinking of the two as mutually exclusive.

Read: Blurred Lines: 5 Ways To Know That The Sex You’re Having Is Not Love

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